Lesson 4.1: Navigating Anxiety and Demand Avoidance
Lesson Objective
By the end of this lesson, you will be able to apply solution-focused strategies to support pupils experiencing anxiety and demand avoidance, using the DDP as a guide.
Anxiety: The Root of Avoidance
Behaviour that is often labelled as ‘defiance’, ‘opposition’, or ‘laziness’ is very often rooted in anxiety. Demand avoidance is not a choice to be difficult; it is an instinctive, anxiety-based response to a perceived loss of control. The demand itself feels threatening.
“When we see avoidance, our first question should not be ‘How do I make them do it?’ but ‘What is the source of the anxiety, and how can I reduce it?’ This shifts our approach from confrontation to collaboration.”
Strategies for De-escalation and Engagement
Our goal is to lower the anxiety so that the pupil can re-engage. This requires a low-arousal, flexible approach.
1. Offer Choice and Control:
Anxiety is reduced when a sense of autonomy is restored. Instead of “Do this now,” try offering limited choices: “Do you want to use the blue pen or the black pen?” or “Shall we work at the desk or on the beanbag?”
2. Reduce the Demand (The ‘Tiny Step’):
If a task is too overwhelming, shrink it. Instead of “Write a paragraph,” try “Can you write just the first sentence?” or even “Let’s just think of a good opening word together.” Success on a tiny step can build momentum.
3. Use Indirect Language:
Direct demands (“You need to…”) can trigger a threat response. Try depersonalising the demand: “The timetable says it’s maths time now,” or using declarative language: “I see the worksheet is on the table.” This is less confrontational.
From Conflict to Connection
[Video: A role-play showing a practitioner skilfully navigating a moment of demand avoidance using the strategies above]
Updating Your DDP for Anxiety
Think about the pupil you have been focusing on. Consider a situation where they have shown signs of anxiety or have avoided a task.
Your task is to add a new entry to the ‘Strengths-Based Strategies’ section of their DDP specifically for managing anxiety-based avoidance.
Choose one of the strategies from this lesson (e.g., offering choice, reducing the demand) and write down how you would apply it in that specific situation. For example: “When he becomes anxious about starting his writing, I will offer him the choice of typing on the tablet or writing on a mini-whiteboard instead of in his book.”
This makes your DDP a proactive plan for supporting the pupil when they are at their most vulnerable.